That’s Not Wrestling #8: The Orange Cassidy Issue

Hey there! The Orange Cassidy story has been a ton of fun to tell. I decided to take the story of Cassidy to the extreme and explore some of the lesser-known places Cassidy has been and the people he has met along the way. The end result is an epic story that has been entertaining readers since its conception.

On December 15, 2013, I wrote an article titled  ” That’s Not Wrestling #7: The Cameron Oaks Issue  which was inspired by a conversation with my sister. My sister and I are both huge wrestling fans and we had been talking about hot celebrities in the ring. I knew that she was a huge fan of NXT’s Cass Vaughn, and I was curious exactly how hot a celebrity from NXT would be.  My sister’s reply? “Cass is so hot.” I replied with a “Haha, yeah.” I should have known better than to let a hot topic like Cass Vaughn fall after just one mention.

The Orange Cassidy Issue is the latest edition of That’s Not Wrestling, a wrestling-focused podcast that was created by my good friend, former wrestler and Olympic wrestler Jordan Matthews. In this episode, we take a look at professional wrestling’s first openly gay wrestler, a man who seemed to have it all until his partner went off to fight in the Iraq War, and a man who had to come to terms with his own sexuality in an extremely homophobic wrestling world.

This Is Not Wrestling #8 : Cassidy orange edition

Sport

Welcome and thank you for coming! A few years ago, it seemed the planets were aligned for a fantastic change in professional wrestling. Everyone was talking about a shiny new promotion with a TV contract and serious, athletic wrestling. Finally, the life of the modern wrestling fan, who had to eat shit and learn to love the taste, was over. Or is it? We meet here every Thursday to deconstruct the actions of stupid, dangerous and desperate people in the pro….. struggle. At least at AEW.

It’s time to get the orange filth out of AEW and eliminate it once and for all. I have bigger problems with AEW masquerading as a wrestling company, and while Orange Cassidy is not AEW’s biggest problem right now, he could become a much bigger problem if we do nothing.

Remember: I really want this company to succeed and give the WWE an edge. You can’t do that when you bring a parody of their show to town. AEW has already had two years to refute this, and it’s time to tell some truths and cut some fat.

As always, there will be those who defend both extremes. I saw a lot of people online saying they were afraid Cassidy would work at all, and then there were veterans (in AEW) praising him as the best thing since sliced bread. There are also blind AEW fans who get carried away until their eyes turn blue at any criticism.

It’s another case of people clinging to the WWE alternative and blindly devouring what’s put on their plate. For the most part, it’s a mix of Nickelodeon and Saturday Night Live, with mostly bloopers and gags.

There seems to be a little bit of self-awareness at AEW. Cassidy isn’t relentlessly foisted upon us as a future great promoter like he was during his feud with Chris Jericho. I think it’s safe to say that a break from this sporting anesthetic was welcome in many ways. Either that, or Jericho grabbed his catch and headed home after getting everything out of a promising young prospect.

This isn’t the first time for Jericho either. He’s used to being in the right place at the right time.

I’m usually the last one to judge others by their looks, but here we are on the field. I certainly have nothing against people who don’t care about their looks. The point is, if someone does something that contradicts what he has said (which has been AEW’s modus operandi), I will raise my hand and ask him to clean up the pile of crap he has spewed. It’s no different than what’s going on with Orange Cassidy and his ultimate lazy/bum image.

Her hair is combed. His beard is always the same length. He did his best to print himself on a Droste effect T-shirt. He wears those stupid jeans that are hard to get on and off. Sorry to say, but he’s a fucking hipster scammer that I can’t buy anything from. The only thing that seems lazy about him is his wrestling.

If he were truly dedicated to technology, he would have no music, no haircut to get out of bed, no beard, no pants, a plain t-shirt, velcro shoes, and he would know how to portray disinterest without appearing stiff.

In the ring, he’s nothing special… or average. He does the same list of actions as everyone else to get quick bursts and cheap laughs, he dives into groups of people waiting to catch him, and he always goes to the next place without caring what just happened.

If he does his stupid shin kicks and people don’t just chuckle and beat his head to a pulp, they are really bad. When he finally gets his hands out of his pockets and gets serious, there’s still not much to say; he comes across as forced, goofy and fake. For example, Superman’s punch against Roman Raines has a certain allure, while Orange Cassidy’s doesn’t look intimidating or impressive at all.

His anyone-can-do style is praised for this reason. If he gets injured at some point because he jumps off the high ground with his hands in his pockets, a spot opens up in the lineup and another sucker who doesn’t need coaching (or talent) takes his place. There is also the possibility that someone will lose patience with him and his unprotected position and shoot him with a justified shot.

So if it’s as useful as breasts to a bull, why is it there? Is he the son of a famous star? Is he a legitimate shooter who likes pro-wrestling and wants to add some legitimacy and make some extra money? Maybe she’s a sexy woman with the right things in the right places? As foolish as that last statement may sound, it is probably the closest to the truth.

Yes, this is another one of Tony Han’s pets, probably his favorite so far! But think of the prize-winning animals: Pee on the carpet once or chew on the wrong shoe, and you’ll never be seen in the same light again. One wrong match and you’re in a niche.

Tony Khan is not as different from Vince McMahon as he would have us believe (and himself believe). He is a salesman at heart and knows how to entertain, distract and amuse in every possible way. I’ve already said he keeps messing around at press conferences after the show. Khan loves how easily Cassidy slips into the role of wrestler, and Khan hopes he can do it again in the future.

As we proved above, children imitate what is in front of them. There’s no denying that young wrestling and AEW fans are pestering their parents to buy Orange Cassidy props for them, just like they do with John Cena, Rey Mysterio and others. I’m sure they’ll sell well, but their numbers won’t even come close to WWE’s.  Cassidy’s costume is easy to arrange and some adults have even been caught wearing it. The problem is that kids only make up a small percentage of fans, even in the family-oriented WWE. Even if a handful of fans like Cassidy, it could go far.

Looking at the big picture, AEW could have at least made sure the guy had two years of proper training while working for them. He hasn’t improved since the first casino fight, and it’s clear he won’t now either. I understand AEW doing the opposite of WWE in some elements, just to do the opposite of WWE. Feeling that the NXT training center/factory is something to avoid; again, agree. However, you should not avoid learning and having standards in general.

Please, AEW, stop completely copying the WWE or doing the opposite. Don’t worry about what they do. If you do that, you’ll have all the in-between and gray areas you want. Tony’s money pot won’t last forever, and if AEW continues like this, they’ll soon be seen in the same light as TNA/Impact, which means the WWE won’t have anyone in their rearview mirror anymore.

That’s it for this week. Thank you for visiting. Don’t forget to check out the Putting It Bluntly website: AEW Double or nothing on my YouTube channel. See you Monday at #AnotherWeekOfWrestling and next Thursday at #ThatsNotWrestling!

The background was designed by Rachel Hope.

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